Shadow of Consequence

(written and first published in November 2000... when I started to understand that it would take one more thing aside from the grace of God to keep me from walking though the portal of sin)

I live in the shadow of consequence of sin
No more shame
No more guilt
For that has been forgiven
I am a walking testimony
Of what you shouldn't do
Though purified and sanctified
And walking in the truth
The past is gone
Wiped clean for good
I don't doubt that any longer
But because of what I did in the past
I've made my boundaries stronger
Many think their sin
Is their testimony of grace
They focus on forgiveness
And miss what cannot be erased
I live in the shadow of the consequence of sin
The shame is gone
The guilt is gone
For that has been forgiven
But when I come face to face
With the temptation to give in
I remember not forgiveness
But the consequence of sin

Dwell

I would stay amid the thunder
Of the trumpets and horns
Amid the booming of the drums
Amid the clash of the cymbals
For there in the praises of His people
He dwells
But I stay in the silence
In the whisper of the night
To hear His voice
In the stillness
In the moment
He speaks
I listen
And the clash of the cymbals
The booming of the drums
The thunder of the trumpets and horns
Take me away again
And I praise but I long to go back
And dwell

My darling

My darling, my love
Can I come and sit beside you
Ssshh... don't cry
Here let me wipe your tears
Do you think a little dirt will deter me
You fell
You're unclean
Here, let me wash the blood from face
And comb the mud out of your hair

You're beautiful... Still
Bruised
Wounded
Those wounds will take time to heal

My darling. Why do you hide your face from me
Look at me
Can't you see the one you love so much
I looked past your sin and saw my bride
Look past my anger and see your first love

Rusty Love

Corroded by time
Torn apart
Blackened with age
A worn out heart

Open and willing
To try love again
Only to find
A disastrous end

Broken and weakened
Each time love had failed
But holding on tighter
Hope still prevailed

Then love turned the dying
Into the dead
When one more good-bye
Was all that was said

Corroded by time
Torn apart
Rusty love
Destroyed the heart

My love for him

Bold I was as I walked to his side
I swore I would not cripple this time
I would not cave, I would not give in
I would declare my love to him
But as I neared I felt emerge
A feeling within my soul did surge
He turned and when our eyes did meet
I swallowed hard to taste defeat
I lost all words as he stood and gazed
I backed up, turned and walked away
I heard him call but I could not stop
I felt a pain in me as my heart did drop
Torn and yet desire was strong
Between the right and what I knew was wrong
He holds a part of me, I fear to say
It tears me up to walk away
Bold I will be as I leave his side
It is not fear that drives me away this time
I will not cave, I will not give in
And so because of my love for him

Provider of Peace

(Sometimes the Holy Spirit inspires me to write a poem from the perspective I haven't experienced. Some call it prophetic. Maybe it's God just giving me taste of understanding I couldn't achieve on my own. This is one of those poems... written some time ago for a beloved friend.)

Provider of peace, I'm needing You
Come as You would and fill me too
All around in the world I see
A selfish existence that angers me
There is no peace in this world full of greed
But men seeking glory and a power that bleeds
But yet in my midst, in my loved ones I see
Something different that's attracting me
There is something they have
That takes them away
To a place of rest and bids them stay
Refreshing their spirits
Giving strength to their soul
To face the world contented and whole
Provider of peace, have You something for me
To take me from this insanity
Help me to know, to understand
To find Your peace in this broken land
Provider of peace, I'm needing You
Come as You would and fill me too

Gone

Gone you are
Yet not of death
I see your face and
Wonder
Will it be for good
Friend
As we pass the pain
And love again
Friend
That is all you are to me now
And all you ever will be
Sin crept in
Now our eyes meet with fear
Will the damage be repaired
Gone you are
Yet not of death
I see your face and
Wonder

Flawless

Your love is flawless
As I long to be
but cannot

My hope of perfection
is dashed against the
rock of my sin and my shame

But Your love is flawless
Is the perfection
I can only desire
But beyond my failed hopes
and futile pursuit of that which
I'll never be
I find in Your love
By Your blood
In You
I'm flawless

Beloved Unbeliever

Beloved unbeliever
My heart aches for you
I can see this side of heaven
What your soul is going through
Your choices ever grieve me
But in hope and love I wait
And pray that you and I will meet
In time at heaven's gate
I've been told to guard my heart
It's foolish that I trust
But against all wisdom I hang on
Loving you's a must
Beloved unbeliever
I can't change your path
Only you and God alone
Will save you from sin's wrath
And so I pray, my heart I share
That God would be your rest
Your strength, your passion, your all in all
Beloved, Jesus is the best